六位皇后

Perfect. So, just for a bit of context: I've actually had my fair share of marriages.

Something Henry and I have in common… I guess. Though, unlike him, I did manage to get

through that without decapitating anyone. I know, gold star for Cathy Parr.

with, you know, incapacitating grief and also had to keep finding new husbands to avoid

being ostracised. Yeah, Tudor womanhood. Would recommend. And then, one day, finally I

meet this guy, Thomas. He seemed like he might stick around for a while. And you guessed

it, he turned out to be the love of my life. I know right? We had this plan to get married,

actually. That's when Henry turned up, single and ready to make an unsuspecting woman his

wife. Just my luck. So that was that. I had to write a letter to Thomas, ending things. Dear

Tom…

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU BOY

IN EV'RY SINGLE WAY.

THOUGH I LOVE YOU BOY,

I'LL MISS YOU EV'RY DAY.

OH I LOVE YOU BOY,

I WISH THAT I COULD STAY WITH YOU

AND KEEP THE LIFE I MADE WITH YOU.

AND EVEN THOUGH THIS FEELS SO RIGHT

I'M HOLDING BACK THE TEARS TONIGHT.

IT'S TRUE, I'LL NEVER BE OVER YOU

'CAUSE I HAVE BUILT A FUTURE IN MY MIND WITH YOU.

AND NOW THE HOPE IS GONE,

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME TO DO.

YOU KNOW IT ISN'T TRUE,

BUT I MUST SAY TO YOU

THAT I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

IT'LL NEVER BE BETTER THAN IT WAS, NO, NO.

BUT I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

I'VE GOT NO CHOICE,

WITH THE KING I STAY ALIVE.

NEVER HAD A CHOICE,

BEEN A WIFE TWICE BEFORE JUST TO SURVIVE.

I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

IF HENRY SAYS IT'S YOU THEN IT'S YOU,

NO MATTER WHAT I FEEL, IT'S WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

BUT IF SOMEHOW I HAD THAT CHOICE,

NO HOLDING BACK I'D RAISE MY VOICE.

I'D SAY: HENRY YEAH IT'S TRUE, I'LL NEVER BELONG TO YOU

'CAUSE I AM NOT YOUR TOY TO ENJOY 'TIL THERE'S SOMETHING NEW.

AS IF I'M GONNA GIVE UP MY BOY, MY WORK,

MY DREAMS TO CARE FOR YOU.

DARLING, GET A CLUE,

THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

NO I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DISCUSS, NO, NO.

'CAUSE I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

But the thing is, I can't say that. Not to the king. So this is goodbye. All my love,

Catherine.

SO I SENT THAT LETTER TO MY LOVE,

GOT MARRIED TO THE KING,

BECAME THE ONE WHO SURVIVED.

I'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT MY LIFE, THE FINAL WIFE.

BUT WHY SHOULD THAT STORY BE THE ONE

I HAVE TO SING ABOUT JUST TO WIN?

I'M OUT!

THAT'S NOT MY STORY, THERE'S SO MUCH MORE

REMEMBER THAT I WAS A WRITER,

I WROTE BOOKS AND PSALMS AND MEDITATIONS.

FOUGHT FOR FEMALE EDUCATION

SO ALL MY WOMEN COULD INDEPENDENTLY STUDY SCRIPTURE.

I EVEN GOT A WOMAN TO PAINT MY PICTURE.

WHY CAN'T I TELL THAT STORY, 'CAUSE IN HIS STORY

I'M FIXED AS ONE OF SIX.

AND WITHOUT HIM I DISAPPEAR.

WE ALL DISAPPEAR.

Wait, I don't get it.

Okay, look. Why does anyone know who we are?

My sixth finger?

Put it away, babe!

Okay, let me put it in a different way. Who was Henry VII's wife?

I don't know.

Anyone?

I don't know.

Okay, and who was Henry VI's wife?

I don't know.

And Henry V's wife?

We don't know.

Catherine de Valois– I mean, we don't know.

The point is, the only reason these people have come here tonight is because once upon

a time–

–the same guy fell in love with us.

Right.

Wait… but isn't there a bigger problem here?

The dissolution of the monasteries?

No. I'm talking about us, 'cause as soon as we get together as a group–

Everyone notices Jane can't dance!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! We compare ourselves. And when we're

the six wives of Henry VIII, we each become just that.

One of his wives.

One of…

SIX

Oh my God, I get it! Since the only thing we have in common is our husband,

grouping us is an inherently comparative act and as such unnecessarily elevates a historical

approach ingrained in patriarchal structures. I read.

So basically, we're stuck.

What a waste of time.

Like I said, there's not much we can do about it now.

You know what?

What?

I wish that like, before we spent the whole show competing we'd realise it would

turn out to be such a mess.

Yeah, 'cause if we had realised then we could've done something else, like maybe a

fake competition to show everyone how messed up comparing us is.

Then we could have done something else of some cool way to like– I don't know…

reclaim our stories or like all becoming the leading ladies… blah blah blah…

Aww, we could've done that as a song!

That would really tie everything together so neatly!

If only we thought of that before…

THIS IS THE

REMIX!

SO WE HAD NO CHOICE

BUT NOW IT'S US ALONE

SO WE'VE GOT NO CHOICE

NO WE'VE GOT NO CHOICE

WE'RE TAKING THE MICROPHONE

I'M GONNA RAISE MY VOICE

THEY ALWAYS SAID WE NEED YOUR LOVE

BUT IT'S TIME FOR US TO RISE ABOVE.

IT'S NOT WHAT WENT DOWN IN HISTORY,

BUT TONIGHT I'M SINGING THIS FOR ME.

HENRY, YEAH, I'M THROUGH TOO MANY TIMES IT'S BEEN TOLD.

AND I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, LOVE STORIES SOON GET OLD.

AND YOU MIGHT THINK IT'S TOUGH

BUT I'VE GOT TO LET YOUR LOVE RUN COLD.

WE'RE TAKING BACK CONTROL,

YOU NEED TO KNOW

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

NO I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

CAN'T LET IT GET THE BETTER OF US, NO, NO.

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE, NO, NO.

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE

Riffs ad lib.

—

—

—

—

—

NO, NO

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE

NO, NO

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE

NO, NO

I DON'T NEED YOUR

NO, NO, NO I DON'T. NO, I DON'T NEED IT.

—

NO, NO, NO I DON'T. NO, I DON'T NEED IT.

—

NO, NO, NO I DON'T. NO, I DON'T NEED IT.

—

LOVE