毕业舞会

When a challenge lies ahead And you are filled with dread and worry

Give it some zazz

If your courage disappears What'll get your fears to scurry?

Give it some zazz

Zazz is style plus confidence

It may seem corny or kitsch

But when scared or on the fence

You'll find that zazz Will soon make fear become your bitch

And if folks say you can't win What'll stop them in a hurry?

Give it some zazz

There's no contest for a girl Who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff And strut your stuff

Like no chick in this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Oh, give it some zazz

I just don't think I can do it.

The thought of getting up in front of all of those people.

Look at my hands, they're shaking.

If your hands are shakin'

Just turn 'em into jazz hands

Doesn't that feel better? - No.

Try this.

This is awkward.

You don't understand the concept of zazz.

The zazz is not the moves. The zazz comes from within.

Do the moves and give it some zazz.

Close your eyes.

Think about Mrs. Greene.

Think about that fake prom.

Now think of finally doing something about it.

Oh, I'm seeing it! I'm seeing your zazz!

Now, follow me!

Do like the brave and bossy do

And if they tear you apart

Ask what would Bob Fosse do?

He'd make the people Have a step-ball-change of heart

Ball change!

And if folks say you can't win What'll stop them in a hurry?

Give it some zazz

There's no contest for a girl Who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff, bam!

And strut my stuff, bam!

Like no chick In this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Give it some zazz

Now that you found your zazz, it's time to show it to the world.

You think you know how? - Yeah!

You've sort of been, you know, the woman in my life.

You've been the man in mine.

And I was thinking this could be our last time…

We shouldn't be doing this.

Oh, it's rom-com Friday. Rom-com Friday is sacred.

We should be helping Emma.

We gotta get her on TV. - Sheldon is on it. Come on.

How does this work, anyway?

It's infrared.

It reduces inflammation.

Oh, good.

But you can't keep it on too long. It'll blow your face off.

What?

Someday when I'm awfully low

And the world is cold…

Saw this movie with Eddie.

It was our first date.

Was it really?

Yeah.

Mmm.

Then he… took me out for dinner after.

Well, I took him out.

He didn't have any money.

He was just starting out in comedy, and he didn't have the big show like now.

Fifteen years, he didn't have any money.

And I picked up the tab. I paid.

That was a bad move.

No kidding. I'm still paying.

Can I make an observation?

Is it a pleasant observation or is it an irritating one?

You're not over him.

No, don't say that. I am not…

Trust me. I am…

I am way over him.

I'm just mad at myself, you know, I am so…

Why it took me so long to…

Figure it out.

You know? I believed him. I believed him every single time.

"I promise you, it's nothing."

"It's meaningless. She's nothing to me. It's over."

I finally got the message, you know. He didn't love me.

He didn't…

He didn't even like me.

But he liked the money.

Oh, yeah, so I got out.

I got out…

And I gave him half my money.

And now here we are, singing to trucks.

And he's got a hit TV show.

And I still owe him half my unemployment check.

It's Eddie Sharpe!

Whoa, hey!

Welcome, everybody! What's today's words of wisdom?

Never sign a prenup!

And you know what the worst part is?

I shut down.

He took my little, delicate blueberry heart,

and he just… squished it.

What? - Here's what you're gonna do, okay?

You're gonna wear something heart-stopping, like that yellow cape

and those cute little boots.

And you are gonna march down

to that principal's office like a bad, bad girl.

Tom?

Tom is a fan. Friend.

Hmm?

Well…

He likes you.

As a fan. Friend.

I don't know. Not even that much anymore.

Okay, let's cut the crap. I would kill, kill,

to have a guy look at me the way that he looks at you.

Stop it.

You're just… You're poking my heart with your finger.

Your still-beating, delicate little blueberry heart?

Do you think he really, really likes me?

Oh, my God, yes!

Barry!

I love you! I love you! - I love you! I love you!

You're just such a great… everything.

Okay, no, no, no. Okay.

This, the master stroke, your idea.

And the boots? - And the little cute boots.

This is it.

Oh!

That is good.

Mmm, now…

You.

I've been thinking about you since we got here.

Oh, God. I knew this was gonna somehow turn around to me.

And I think it's time somebody poked that gay little heart of yours.

Are we doing this? Fine. Uh…

Do I only go for 10s when I know I'm a 6.2? Yes and...

Your parents. You're from Ohio, right?

So?

We're in Indiana.

Ohio, Indiana, they're close. - I can see where you're driving this.

You have two living parents

that you'll never be nearer to than you are right now.

I think you should call them. - No.

They threw me away.

Well, did they really?

I told them that I was gay,

and they said that they would take me to therapy to change myself completely.

Let your parents see who you are before it's too late.

If you don't…

You'll regret it.

I'm not the one who should have regrets.

I was the kid.

I was the kid!

I was 16.

Sixteen years old. I was terrified.

Terrified!

And I needed one thing from them and they couldn't give it to me.

So don't you…

Would the following students

please report to after-school detention?

Harlan Doolittle…

Hi.

…Olivia Blanc, Frances Doolittle. Thank you.

Well, they each had a bite.

Ooh, what'd you do?

Yeah, a big bite.

I appreciate it. Bye-bye.

Am I interrupting something?

I was just doing some research,

trying to figure out if urinal cakes are poisonous.

Uh, how can I help you?

Well, I've just been wandering around town all day.

I've seen the… sight.

And, um…

Bottom line is I just thought you might want to take me to dinner

and worship me again.

No, I would not like to do that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do.

Okay, what's going on here? Why is everybody always so mad at me?

Well, speaking for myself, it's because you're an opportunist.

You came here for publicity. You're a terrible person.

No, no. Nobody gets to talk to me that way. Nobody!

You know, meeting you in person has been colossally disappointing.

I wanted you to be Dolores.

Who the hell is Dolores?

From Swallow the Moon.

She was joyful. She was full of courage and hope.

Okay, but she was fictional. - But you made her real.

When you sang "The Lady's Improving" to Troy Gibson,

you were admitting you weren't perfect and you knew you could be better,

and that's why he didn't fire you from the circus act.

Such humility and dignity.

That's who I thought you were. - Well, I'm not.

I'm not Dolores.

I'm just a really, really, really good actress. And you…

You're just some hick town high school teacher

who can't even tell the difference between fantasy and reality.