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Then we decide to have a bit of a ceremony.

Let's make these people honorary Newfoundlanders!

Now, there's a solemn old tradition For admission or audition

To transition From a come from away

To be a Newfoundlander

The only other way, at any rate

Is pass away and pray to fate

And wait to reincarnate

As a Newfoundlander

Hey, hey, come on inside Nothing ventured, nothing tried

Only a couple of people cried

You'll be a Newfoundlander

Hey, hey, sit down right there You'll feel better in a year

Try to ignore your doubts and fears

And you'll be a Newfoundlander

Now we needs a couple of volunteers.

Who wants to become a Newfoundlander?

Right here!

Good man! Who else?

I have no idea why I put up my hand. And Kevin's like…

Oh, my God. Are you serious? Oh, my God. You are serious.

Yes, I'm serious.

Don't do it if you don't want to.

I won't.

Where you from, buddy?

Los Angeles.

LA! Who else?

Us! We wanna be Newfoundlanders.

All right. Where you folks from?

Texas...

Texas!

What part of Texas you from, buddy?

No, no. I'm...

I'm from Texas. He's from England.

Well, wait.

Now, how does that work?

What?

How does what work?

How does your marriage work?

With you being in England, her in Texas.

We're not married.

I'm sorry. I assumed you were married.

No, no.

No.

Well, would you like to be?

Well, why not?

Diane had had two beers by then, so it was probably the alcohol talking.

I've never had more than one beer at a time before,

so it's probably the alcohol talking.

I went and got us two more beers.

Now, the first part is the easiest We'll soon get to the queasiest

I'll need you to repeat this mess

When you become a Newfoundlander

'Cause we speaks A different language, son

We adds some esses and some rum

You'll have to try a good cod tongue

When you become a Newfoundlander

Hey, hey, just do your best Nothing scary, nothing yet

You'll have to change The way you're dressed

And you'll be a Newfoundlander

Hey, hey, just sing along Nothing ventured, just prolonged

There's 30 verses in this song

And you'll be a Newfoundlander

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Screech.

Back in World War II, an officer was stationed here

and was offered some of this stuff.

All the locals were tossing it back with nar' a quiver,

so he does too and lets out an ear-piercing…

Everybody comes to see what's happened and says…

"What was that ungodly screech?"

And now it's your turn. Are you ready?

No, I'm not ready.

No thank you.

All together now! One!

One!

Two!

Two!

Three!

Three!

Down the hatch!

Screech is basically bad Jamaican rum.

Screech is horrific.

Screech is delicious!

And then they brought the cod.

The cod!

The cod?

The cod!

Now, with every transformation Comes a tiny bit of risk

You gotta walk the plank

And there'll be blood Or there'll be bliss

And it's the same to be a Newfoundlander Every person's wish

So don't be dumb Just take the plunge

Go on, kiss the fish

I'm an islander, I am an islander…

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a genuine freshly caught Newfoundland cod.

And if you want to become an honorary Newfoundlander,

you'll have to give her a smooch!

…I'm an islander, I am an islander…

If you kiss that, I will never kiss you again.

I'll risk it!

Two!

I am not kissing a fish!

Come on! I will if you will.

Oh, my God. Fine.

…I am an islander…

Three!

I can't do it.

- Come on! - What? I just did!

Now, you gotta kiss the cod. It's a vital part of the ceremony.

I can't do it.

All right, look, I'll make you a deal.

Either you kiss this fish

or else you kiss this Englishman that you're not married to.

Wait, what?

Okay.

Hey, hey, come on tonight Take a risk and take a ride

Jump right in with both feet tied

And you'll be a Newfoundlander

Hey, hey, come on once more Nothing ventured, nothing sore

After it's over, out the door

And you'll be a Newfoundlander

After it's over

You'll remember

That you're a Newfoundlander

Hey! Good job, LA.

Good night, now!

Kevin?

Where did you go?